remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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