yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
