Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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