I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
