Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
