I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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