is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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