Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
