I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize