According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
