last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
