When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
