Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
