omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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