the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
