If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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