Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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