You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
