butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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