what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
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