If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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