I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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