did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
