you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize