As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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