i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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