Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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