I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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