So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
