I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
pray to the hookup gods
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
