mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize