Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
