You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
