Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
