I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
