i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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