I don't think brook has ever known best
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize