garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
are you so shy because you have an std?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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