i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
