He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
