NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
