don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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