so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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