that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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