She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
