You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
