She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
