Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
