Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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