so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize