You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
