Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
