i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
