She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
