I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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