The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
